MARGE: Homer, I’ve always stood up for you. When people point out your flaws, I always say, “Well, sometimes you have to stand back to appreciate a work of art.”
HOMER: Waaayyyy back.

Andy says:
I guess the next logical question would be… what are you munching on?
Catie says:
i ate cereal and peanut butter.
Catie says:
delicious.
Andy says:
jesus
Catie says:
i didn’t eat him.
Andy says:
I hear he’s chocolate
Catie says:
does he have sprinkles?
Andy says:
He’s Jesus
Andy says:
of course he does

Andy says:
I’m going to make a bowl of watermelon
Andy says:
bbiamswctm
Catie says:
what is swctm?
Andy says:
So we can talk more?
Catie says:
oh god. that’s huge.
Andy says:
I thought you could read me better than that
Catie says:
that is the HUGEST ACRONYM EVER.
Catie says:
ANDY.
Catie says:
that is ridICUlously long
Andy says:
hahahaha
Catie says:
it doesn’t even count as an acronym anymore.
Catie says:
it’s a fuckin’ WORD now.

Jeff says:
glow in the dark condoms are a novel concept
Jeff says:
should help you finally fulfill that Chernobyl victim fantasy

ME: you have freckles.
ALEX: like pippi longstocking!!

“stoop kid’s afraid to leave her stoop!” -me, wallowing on jade’s front “porch” after downing half a huge bottle of wine

“do you guys have coloring books here for check-out?” -i love my job, i love my job, i love my job

“and this one time, it MOVED.” -me telling jade about the sloth i saw

“hahahahaha. hahahahahahahaha. oh, weather kicks ass.” -hyde, that 70’s show

JACKIE: here’s what i don’t get. why would sally sell seaSHELLS down by the seaSHORE? i mean, that’s a TERRIBLE location for a seashell stand.
DONNA: yeah, i mean, if she wanted to make money, she’d sell seashells by the SUBway.
JACKIE: y’know what she should sell by the seashore? SHOESHINES! ‘cuz your sandals get so sandy!
DONNA: sandy sandals. we should start a girl band called sandy sandals!
…blahblah…
DONNA: jackie…if hyde says no, then you and i get a van, and the sandy sandals tour america.